I still recall the feeling of fear that gripped my entire body as I stood at the corner of this coffeeshop in Sarria last year. I clung on to the lamp-post, trying to look inconspicuous as the pilgrims of the day set about their way down the path, clearly marked.
That same fear has tried to reinstate itself in my being the last month past. As we moved from Step Zero towards Step Action which begins today. My father will begin his 1st line of treatment via chemotherapy and we hope this will arrest the cancer that has and continues to spread through his body.
While I am ready, as I was for the Camino - I know at some point, fear and trepidation will grip me once again. Add to that, so long as the tumour(s) remains unresectable, we will always need to be on guard for it to "come back".
So I need to dig really deep and go back to the corner coffeeshop, take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other and start walking. And to remember that for 5 long days, even though my body was ready to leave me - I got up each day and finished the day's route.
No matter how long or short this battle is - I know I can do it with my Dad and the rest of my family. I have the Camino in me to remind me that once I start something - I can finish it with heads held high.
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