Rationale Mind

I spent the better part of this morning and afternoon running around like a headless chicken. And this is extremely hilarious simply because before the "headless-ness" began, I was in the shower and wondering to myself the following:

1. So I have had one good phone call and one not so good phone call this morning, the latter being of higher import.
2. It was a good week past in the sense that despite all the unless work, I was able to schedule it all, focus and stay calm.
3. So putting the two together - is the bad phone call God's way of "punishing" me for not keeping to my intent of attending Mass daily this week (which I have failed miserably all thanks to the folks operating the SMART tunnel)?

I learn from the Bible's Old Testament that God was not a very forgiving being - recall Sodom & Gomorrah - and so to come to point (3) above was not very difficult. YET, I also learn from the Bible that God is indeed a forgiving being.

I am not making excuses for my lack of extra effort - I could have left the office earlier on Monday and Tuesday to make sure I got to church on time. I did indeed wake up early on Tuesday morning intending to go for morning Mass but the thought of heading in and out twice in one morning was too much. And yes, I overslept this morning and completely missed this morning's opportunity. So yes, I admit - I am at fault here.

Perhaps I am gripping at straws of self-consolation: all these that happened today, has nothing to do with what I have not done. At the end of the day, what HE is calling from me is total surrender (half-way there but not quite) and today is just another fine example of it.

My rationale mind can try to wear itself out (even more) by trying to piece together this puzzle called my life but at the end of the day, it will only do what I said: wear itself out.

Faith is a funny thing - there is no place for rationalism in it all!