My preparation for the Camino has stalled. The week past has just been an absolute blur that I am hesitant to stop and take stock. Yet, it is a situation that needs to be arrested. You know it is when you awake from a dream, sobbing as you did in it, feeling the pain, anguish and anxieties that you felt in that subconscious state of mind.
I need to get back into the gym. I need to make time to stop, think and pray. I need to make time to sit with a dying relative and put my arms around her surviving family.
Someone close to me remarked not too long ago - do not put yourself into a situation where your back is shoved right up against the wall. He underestimated me and my need for safety and assurance - my plate has not runneth over. I have merely sold my soul to the Devil.
And to the Devil himself indeed. For why else would I feel as if all I am doing now will come to naught? That at the end of the day, as like in my dream, it would still not be enough.
I have stalled and I need to get back on track. Pray for me.
I need to get back into the gym. I need to make time to stop, think and pray. I need to make time to sit with a dying relative and put my arms around her surviving family.
Someone close to me remarked not too long ago - do not put yourself into a situation where your back is shoved right up against the wall. He underestimated me and my need for safety and assurance - my plate has not runneth over. I have merely sold my soul to the Devil.
And to the Devil himself indeed. For why else would I feel as if all I am doing now will come to naught? That at the end of the day, as like in my dream, it would still not be enough.
I have stalled and I need to get back on track. Pray for me.
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