I have never been one for solitude. Yes, I live by myself and would likely die that way as well. But truly - it is not a feeling I relish.
It's Day 3 and I feel so alone in this journey that I have chosen to embark on. It is as if the rest of the world is going on by me and I am in this lil bubble, looking out. No - it is not a sense of condescension. A complete opposite in fact.
Along with this feeling of "alone-less" comes its buddy - the feeling of being small and insignificant. As if, nothing I do can measure up to what others do. Even this possibly life-changing journey doesn't measure up.
I am terrified cos I have been reading how those who have gone on before me, suffers from a feeling of "loss" upon their return. If I am already feeling it now, what more is to be said when I return?
Is this a good and sound idea to begin with? Am I doing the right thing?
Oh Lord - please give me a sign (anything even if it means lights coming on and off on their own!) that THIS IS ACCORDING TO THY WILL....
It's Day 3 and I feel so alone in this journey that I have chosen to embark on. It is as if the rest of the world is going on by me and I am in this lil bubble, looking out. No - it is not a sense of condescension. A complete opposite in fact.
Along with this feeling of "alone-less" comes its buddy - the feeling of being small and insignificant. As if, nothing I do can measure up to what others do. Even this possibly life-changing journey doesn't measure up.
I am terrified cos I have been reading how those who have gone on before me, suffers from a feeling of "loss" upon their return. If I am already feeling it now, what more is to be said when I return?
Is this a good and sound idea to begin with? Am I doing the right thing?
Oh Lord - please give me a sign (anything even if it means lights coming on and off on their own!) that THIS IS ACCORDING TO THY WILL....
No comments:
Post a Comment