My countdown clock is now officially into single digit. My bags are packed and I have 24 hours before I leave these shores and start my travels. Lord, I am f.r.e.a.k.i.n.g. o.u.t.!
I cannot really pin-point where this sudden wave of nerves is stemming from. According to my tour agent, over 300,000 persons walk this every year. Hell, one of my Irish friend's sister-in-law and a couple of my other Irish friends are doing it again next month - for the second time! So really, I am not doing something new.
So I suppose I am where I have always been standing - on the precipice of change. And I am doing what I always do - I try to edge my way, inch by inch, away from that ledge. Hoping that nobody would notice and thus allow me to shrink away and stay as I was.
I have no doubt that this lil 5 day trip is going to change me. As it is, it already has in some small way. It is an incredulous feeling - here I am, about to embark on something which was, for the last few years, something I had just merely talked about. Whoever who said "Talk is cheap" - well done for thinking of that!
While driving home last night (and actually for a few nights now), I realise what I am seeking to do - deep down inside. Yes, to praise and glorify the Name of God is one. But as we all know, one must walk away with some profound internal change. And this is what I mean.
There has been something I have not been able to do for so many years now. It has been so long since the words have been uttered, I gave up keeping track. And yes, I am afraid. Afraid that after all this, that would be what that changes.
I dare not think what could / would happen if it indeed does happen. But I do know that it is does, I would be whole once again.
Dare I?
I cannot really pin-point where this sudden wave of nerves is stemming from. According to my tour agent, over 300,000 persons walk this every year. Hell, one of my Irish friend's sister-in-law and a couple of my other Irish friends are doing it again next month - for the second time! So really, I am not doing something new.
So I suppose I am where I have always been standing - on the precipice of change. And I am doing what I always do - I try to edge my way, inch by inch, away from that ledge. Hoping that nobody would notice and thus allow me to shrink away and stay as I was.
I have no doubt that this lil 5 day trip is going to change me. As it is, it already has in some small way. It is an incredulous feeling - here I am, about to embark on something which was, for the last few years, something I had just merely talked about. Whoever who said "Talk is cheap" - well done for thinking of that!
While driving home last night (and actually for a few nights now), I realise what I am seeking to do - deep down inside. Yes, to praise and glorify the Name of God is one. But as we all know, one must walk away with some profound internal change. And this is what I mean.
There has been something I have not been able to do for so many years now. It has been so long since the words have been uttered, I gave up keeping track. And yes, I am afraid. Afraid that after all this, that would be what that changes.
I dare not think what could / would happen if it indeed does happen. But I do know that it is does, I would be whole once again.
Dare I?
No comments:
Post a Comment